May Fitness Post - How I (try to) deal with negative self-talk

Hello lovely readers! So I don't know what I was thinking this month. I was totally organized and had a schedule of all these really great posts I was going to write and then shit happened. This is the busiest time of year for me at my job and there were some other twists and turns along the way and I just didn't get to write everything I wanted/planned to. I am considering the frequency with which I post anyway, because I want to give you guys "quality" over quantity. Which segue-ways  perfectly into this post.

Negative self-talk is something most of us deal with. And it's hard to write about. I'm no expert or doctor but I wanted to share with you how I deal with it. What I define this as is the following:

- that negative little jerk voice in your head that is constantly telling you, you aren't enough. You're too tall, too short, too skinny, not skinny enough, you don't make enough $$, you aren't as good as so and so, etc. Male or female and that voice is an asshole.

So in this post I wanted to give you some examples of the things my inner voice tells me sometimes and what I do to stop that bitch in her tracks. (I apologize for the language in this post, I am passionate about this and it's been a long week)

I am 5'0 short and weigh roughly 130ish pounds, which means I am not "thin". I have what I consider to be a big nose, big hips and my face is too "red". I am also extremely NOT tan, and not toned or fit. I have cellulite, and sometimes when I walk fast my thighs rub together.

That description above pretty much is the executive summary of what my negative self-talk revolves around. And based on that description my self image is sometimes that of an ugly disgusting troll. More or less.

Now, here is how I fight back. It may sound stupid, cliche' or cheesy, but I really don't care. It works for me and I hope by sharing this it might work for you. And if by chance you happen to be reading this and you are perfect, then stop now as this clearly isn't intended for you.

The least offensive thing in that summary is the fact that I am short. I have been short all my life and my family members are short too. It doesn't always bother me, but sometimes when I see you tall girls strutting around in your long legs I get a little pissy. So I wear heels, or wedges or say fuck it and wear flats because I'm short and proud of it. I can buy pants in the kids department that aren't too long and are cheaper than women's pants. (Incidentally, I can also buy shoes in the kids department because I have small feet. Plain black flats or flip flops for less than $10? Yes please!) As my mom always told me, "The best things come in small packages."

So next on the list is my weight. Without getting too in depth and too into social norms and expectations around what a women should weigh, this is what I tell my self "You can't change your height, but you can change your health, so get off you squishy butt and get to work girl." The key to this is the word health. It's NOT about being skinny. Not at all. It's about being healthy. Is that cupcake really giving my body the nutrition it deserves? No? Then put it back. Is sitting on the couch watching YouTube videos or TV for 5 hours really how you want to spend the night? Would 30 minutes of exercise kill you? No. So slap in that DVD and get that workout in. I try to look at it as a positive thing. And once I can get myself on a regular work-out schedule I actually really enjoy it and I totally feel better. Which reminds me of another great quote "Exercise releases endorphin, endorphin makes you happy. And happy people don't kill their husbands. They just don't." Points to you if you know where that's from.

The weight thing has been an issue for me since 6th grade. I was one of the first girls in my class to get both boobs and a booty over the summer and holy crap did people remind me of it DAILY. But I really try to focus on this being about me being healthy and not skinny. That has taken me all of 21+ years to work on and it's still a work in progress. Focus on your health not how skinny or not skinny you are. Be healthy. Your body deserves it.

My nose bugs the crap out of me. It's big at the end and sometimes when I turn to the side, I think "Good Lord girl! Look at that nose!" But here's the thing, who cares? I know I would never get plastic surgery to fix it so I just try not to think about it. Or I contour it with bronzer so it gives the illusion of being smaller.

The big hips, cellulite and rubbing thighs along with being not as toned as I want to be are easy to group together. If I work out more I jiggle and rub together less. My hips are big, if I worked out 10 hours a day and ate salads they would still be big. It's just who I am. Some of us have hips, some don't. And no matter how many creams, lotions and potions I buy that damn cellulite is going to stay there. So I try to keep on that work out schedule and use self tanner on my legs in the summer as that reduces the overall appearance of it.

And finally, I'm pale. Like super pale. Like vampire pale. Which some people think is "yucky". But here's the deal, I have porcelain skin. It's not going to be super wrinkly and dry from over-tanning. And if I can prevent one type of cancer then I'm damn well going to do it. I do use a self tanner in the summer (when I remember) but really I have embraced my un-tan.

If turning that negativity doesn't work for me and I am still really down, I do one of the following two things:
 - stay on the couch and have some ice cream, because fuck it,
- OR I look at what my "imperfect" body has accomplished and when I start to look at the things I have done and am doing in my life that do actually matter more than the size of my nose in the big picture, I start to feel a little better. This is not to say that it works every time, or that I don't have bad days but it's what I try to do most days.

So what I hope you take away from this is that we all have issues with how we look. How you deal with those issues is what makes the difference. Embrace your quirks, be healthy and don't let someone else's idea of what you should look like overshadow you. Historically society has shown it doesn't always know what's right and ideals have been shattered repeatedly. Life is too short to worry about how tall you aren't or how slim you're not. Be proud of who you are and what you've accomplished. Only you could do it.

How do you deal with negative self-talk?

Time to Recharge the Batteries

Life is crazy. Everyday we are pulled in a million different directions. We get up, get ready for the day, head to work, take the kids to school, clean the house, prepare meals, take the dogs to the park, help the kids with homework, etc. There are millions of tasks to take care of and get wrapped up in each and every day. And while in the moment those things seem important, and some of them are, it's easy to get lost in the day to day hustle and bustle of life. 

In keeping with the healthy theme of this month, I wanted to spend sometime today to talk about taking a time-out and recharging your batteries. I know you don't have time, I know you need to reply to that email and call your sitter back. Trust me, I know. But at some point you need to stop and smell the roses a little bit. 

I truly believe that taking a "mental health day" is necessary for survival. Life can be tough and crazy and if you don't take a time out for yourself, no one else will take it for you. You are an amazing person who does a million and five things for everyone else, but what have you done for you lately? 

If you can take a whole day to yourself, I highly recommend it. I just took a week off of work to relax and recharge. It rained all week and was cold. It was perfect. The crap weather forced me to sleep in, read books and take care of myself. I was also able to get some projects done around the house that have been bugging me for awhile. But at the end of the week I experienced something I forgot about. Calm. I was calm. I was no longer frazzled about everything. I finally had the time I needed to unwind. Calm. 

I realize that not everyone can take a week off and "do nothing". So try to find some time each day or each week that's just for you. It could be 15 minutes, it could be a couple of hours. It's hard, but I try to find some time each week to recharge my batteries. Sometimes it's in the car on the way home from work, I crank the radio and belt out my fave songs as loud as I can, or while I make dinner I crank up iTunes and have a dance party (which is extremely amusing to those who happen to be in the house at the time). Or even now as I sit and write this, it's quiet in the house, the dogs are snoring, I have some green tea steeping beside me and I am writing.  

My point is you have to relax and calm down. You can't hurry up through each day waiting for the weekend or next weekend or summer vacation. Enjoy today. Enjoy right now and relax. Find your happy place. It's amazing what you can accomplish and get through once you have recharged.

May Fitness Post

I have never been a fan of going to the gym or having a gym membership. It just seems to require too much commitment/dedication and sets expectations too high for me. I just can't commit to going somewhere every day at a specific time (besides work), because I just don't know if I'll feel like it. Ya know? 

So in order to get my fitness routine in, I am a huge fan of at-home workouts. I LOVE the workout routines in magazines that you can rip out and keep handy. And I LOVE workout DVDs.

Above are two of my faves! The first one is the Quick Fix Total Mix DVD and I bought this about 14 years ago. Yeah, I'm loyal like that. And what I love about this DVD is the fact that you can customize the workouts. There are three workouts for abs, buns and arms & legs. Each workout is 10 minutes long, you can do the set of three for each targeted area and go through the whole thing or you can pick one from each (my fave choice) or just do one. I love this because it doesn't get boring, I can create a workout based on my needs and time each time I do this. I bought this at Target originally but have seen this on Amazon recently too. When I was at my peak of fitness I did the abs, and arms & legs combo 5 days a week. 

The second DVD is one that I purchased as a set on QVC about 7 years ago. It was part of a Winsor Pilates special that came with like 5 DVDs and a workbook or something. This is my fave of that set and its a 20 minute Pilates workout that I can do without sweating (or not too much anyway) so I can do this and shower but not wash my hair AND not feel gross about it afterward. 

It really works your whole body and you can totally feel it the next day. I love that you can also start to see results within a week or two. I'm not a patient person.

Both of these DVDs are great for anyone in the beginner to intermediate groups as you can customize the workout and work up to the harder stuff. 

What's your fave workout? 

May - Let's Get Healthy Together!

Hello lovely reader! I cannot believe that we are already in the fifth month of the year! Maybe that's because I'm busy, or maybe it's because its frickin May and we are still experiencing winter weather in Minnesota.

It's been raining for 5 days mom. WTF?

I have been off for the last week and I have had a lot of time to myself to relax and re-charge. And one of the things I noticed is that in the last week I have worked out every day and been eating a little better (not tons) and have reduced myself to one cup of coffee in the morning. And all of this got me thinking, when I have the time, I really do enjoy working out, and when I eat healthier, I feel better. Which brought me to the theme for my May blogs: Let's Get Healthy Together!

This month I want to focus on getting healthy. Mentally and physically. This is NOT going to be a diet blog, nor will it be about weight loss. I want to try to eat healthier snacks AND meals, and I want to try and be more active. I know many of you are in the same boat as me, you commute to work (sitting) you work in an office for 8+ hours a day (mostly sitting) and then you commute back home (more sitting) and besides light household activity, you watch TV (and even more sitting). And I am sure we all know that being sedentary is not good for your body. I also know that with all the daily grind activities we tend to lose sight sometimes of who we are, what we want and what we need to maintain general happiness.

I am not a health professional nor am I a mental health professional. But I know what works for me and I wanted to share it with you and hope that you will feel inclined to share with me via the comments.

Over the next month I will be posting about:

• de-stressing tips
• Short, but effective workouts for the beginner to intermediate level person
• healthy "habits" including how I (try) re-train my brain when I have negative thoughts about my body and the food I feed it
• recipes and snacks
• And some fashion and beauty posts in the mix as well.

I am really excited about this idea, so I hope you are too! 

April Favorites

I apologize for the delay in postings, but life gets crazy every now and again so what's a girl to do? 

Anyhoo...I hope you all had a great month! I surely did :-) It was my birthday month and right now I am currently on "vacation" so April has been awesome. 

So let's talk about favorites. Above is a picture of all my April faves. These are products that I used a lot and really stood out for the month. 

Above is my Tangle Teezer, Batiste for dark hair, Kai perfume oil, Loreal Damage Erase Balm and Vaseline Rosy Lips lip balm. Really none of these are new, but all of them have saved my butt this month. First off, if you do not have a Tangle Teezer, please stop reading and go immediately to your nearest Target and buy one. It has made a HUGE difference in combing out my wet (and dry) hair, I can't even tell you. I think that if you have kids you really need this and I know brushing kids' hair can suck and be down-right painful for them (and you) and I am telling you this makes a difference. Life changing. Seriously. 

The Batiste dry shampoo for dark hair is awesome! I love the smell and the fact that it doesn't turn my (formerly) dark hair white or ashy. It won't stain you hair, but if you have dark hair you know what I'm talking about. 

The Kai fragrance oil is so frickin fabulous I can't stand it. I received this in my spring FabFitFun box and am so in love. It's so light ad fresh (smells like lilacs, but is apparently different on everyone). 

The rosy lips lip balm from Vaseline is super. It keeps my lips really hydrated and the smell isn't too intense. It's like $1.50 at Target. Go get it.

And finally my Loreal hair mask. I've talked about this before so I won't get into too much detail other than to say that if you heat style or color your hair you also need this. I recently dyed my hair blonde again and holy lifesaver. Seriously awesome, add it to your shopping list, you will not be disappointed.

So I apologize that this photo is lopsided. I tried for 20 effing minutes to get it to turn and saved and re-saved the damn thing like 1,007 times and it wouldn't work. Ugh. Moving on. These are my make up faves for the month. The E.L.F. HD Powder is $6 at Target and it's so amazing. The powder itself is white, but it doesn't  leave a color behind (so I guess that would make it translucent, duh.) and is so great for setting your makeup and your concealer. I use this in my T-zone and under my eyes. I am also in love with the E.L.F. HD lifting concealer. This doesn't do much to actually conceal, however it brightens like nobody's business. If I were a betting gal, I would bet that this product rivals other products twice or three times the price. I am also digging my Loreal Voluminous mascara. I had to ditch the Maybelline Rocket mascara because the last two tubes I bought flaked like crazy. This mascara is a tried and true product for me and I always go back to it. 

And finally, drum roll please........the best palette known to (wo)man...the Too Faced Chocolate Bar palette. And yes, it does smell like chocolate. Yes. Yes, it does. You get 16 shadows for $49 on Sephora. And it is worth every.damn.chocolately.penny. I treated (haha, get it?) myself to this for my birthday and couldn't be happier. I wish I would have had this before the Naked palettes. Or any other nude/neutral palette. There is such a variety of neutrals along with a burgundy, a purple and a greenish brown and a couple of pinky shades in here. It is glorious. Glorious I tell you. The outside packaging (to include the box it comes in) is all designed to look like a chocolate bar. And the shadows are made with actual cocoa powder (hence the smell, which does go away when you put the product on your eye, but for allergy purposes you might need to know that). And just ugh, admire the awesomeness will you? All the shades are really pigmented and blend well. A couple of them are gritty-er than others and have a little fall out, but overall this palette is phenomenal. A great buy for the makeup enthusiast, the chocolate enthusiast, your mom, grandma, yourself, or your niece who is just learning to use makeup. I just. I need to stop before I get too carried away. It's awesome, check it out the next time you are in Sephora or Ulta.

Liebster Award

I was nominated for a Liebster Award by Celeste (NOT Chelsea!) from Leap Frog and Lipgloss.  A Liebster is an award for up and coming bloggers with less than 500 followers that someone believes deserves recognition.  I've been blogging for about 3 years, but only seriously in the last year. Thanks Celeste, I am psyched that you (and anyone else) read my blog and thought of me! 

Here are the Rules

If you’re nominated for the award you must:

• Make a post about the award, thanking the blogger that nominated you.
• State 11 interesting facts about yourself
• Answer the 11 questions asked by the blogger that nominated you
• Nominate 11 new bloggers with 500 or less followers
• Write 11 new questions for your nominees

So without further ado, here are 11 facts about me:

1. I have a borderline certifiable obsession with making sure all the light switches in the house are turned the right way (down if they're off, up if they're on). I actually cannot relax if I know that they are wrong. I can't even tell you how stressful the light switch aisle at the hardware store is. 

2. I would love to live on a ranch in the mountains.

3. My dream job would be a make-up artist. 

4. I paint my nails, at minimum, two times a week.

5. I hate peaches and anything peach flavored/scented.

6. I held a tarantula at the Minnesota State Fair.

7. I love bacon, but I think pork chops are inappropriate and will not eat them.

8. I had the world's biggest crush on Jason Priestley when he was on 90210. And even felt like it was surely meant to be because his family was from Minnesota. MY FAMILY WAS FROM MINNESOTA. Oh Brandon.

9. I would rather pick up dog poop with my bare hands than remove a tick from myself, my dogs or anyone else. ICK.

10. If I could only have one food for dinner for the rest of my life it would be baked potatoes. With bacon bits, pepper and butter.

11. I hold my breath every time I cross a bridge or drive by a cemetery. Not sure why on the bridge part, but the cemetery breath holding prevents breathing in any bad spirits. It's okay if you judged me a little bit right there.

Questions from Celeste:

1) Why do you blog? Because it gives me a creative outlet to write (which I love) about the things that I am interested in. It has introduced me to some amazing ideas, experiences and people.

2) What is the strangest thing you’ve ever eaten? Um....I'm pretty boring and like to play it safe when it comes to food. When I was a kid (10ish or so) I LOVED eating cold hot dogs right from the pack. That's probably the weirdest for me. FYI, I don't do that anymore.

3) Who is your celebrity doppelganger? (Will you post a pic of yourself so we can see the resemblance?) I have been told that I look like Kirstie Alley about 3 gah-zillion times. It started in 3rd grade and I have been told that as recently as a month ago. Below is a photo of me from high school and a 90's shot of Kirstie.

4) What is one of your major pet-peeves? People who drive without using their turn signals. When did this become optional?!?

5) You’re only allowed to wear one type of cosmetic for the rest of your life.  What do you choose? Mascara. As I assume that lip balm and sunscreen are skin care and not cosmetic.

6) Are you a cat or dog person? DOG! I have two rotties.

7) Do you prefer reading on a tablet or holding an actual copy of the book? Holding the book, tho I do have a Kindle Fire.

8) What is your favorite post you’ve ever written? How not to look like total $#!% when you are sick.

9) How did you pick your blog’s name? When I was starting my blog I was making a list of posts and topics I wanted to write about and the overwhelming themes were relationships, real life and make-up. So I played around with it until I came up with Love, Life and Lipgloss.

10) Where is the worst place you could get stuck? On a boat. In the ocean. I have a serious fear of whales.

11) Knowing what you know now, what advice would you give to your 13-year old self? Shower. Everyday. Wear a bra. And don't worry at all about the other little jerks who pick on you. It's gonna be alright.

★ 11 Bloggers Nominated ★

Some of you may have more than 500 readers, and that's okay play along anyway! And if you don't want to play that's fine too. Be lame. It's cool. 

• Like it or Lurv It
• The Mommyhood Project
• Kids, Shoes and Everything In Between
• Sparkle, Beauty & Shine
• Sugar, Sugar
• Ameliorer la Vie
• Living After Midnight
• Writing While Barefoot 
• Virginia, if you had a blog right now I would tag you in this. 
• Beauty Broadcast (she has a gazillion readers I am sure, but I love this blog)
• Becoming Minimalist (again, gazillions of readers, just love to read their posts)

Your questions:
1. Do you believe in ghosts?
2. Where do you go or what activity do you do to recharge?
3. What is your most favorite food in the whole world?
4. If you could only listen to one band or artist for the rest of your life, who would it be?
5. What is your favorite 90's movie?  And give me your favorite quote from that movie.
6. What is your current career?
7. Heels or flats?
8. Beer, wine or hard liquor?
9. Is your current hair color your natural color?
10. What is your super power (you could already have one, or you could want one)?
11. If you could go anywhere in the world, right now, where would you go?

Can't wait to see your answers! 

NEW at the drugstore: Maybelline Eye Quads (not really new tho...)

Okay so these aren't really that new. Maybelline has had eye shadow quads, some of which are the same colors, since the beginning of time. BUT the recently re-formulated and re-packaged them. Way back in the day, Maybelline used to be my go-to brand for eye shadows at the drugstore, but times have changed and I haven't used Maybelline eye shadows in quite some time. However, in the last six months or so, I picked up two of them because I had a coupon and I was intrigued by the ads I saw.

The quads have a Base, Lid, Crease and Liner shade in them and on the back there are instructions for which color goes where on your eye. I prefer to use liquid liner so I don't use the Liner shades for liner, I use them to smoke out the look. They have a lot of neutral quads, but there are some fun pops of color out there too.

The two compacts I purchased are the Designer Chocolates and Chai Latte quads. Not gonna lie, the names kinda sold me. I will say that both of the Base colors and the Lid color in the Designer Chocolates quad are lame. They are pretty chalky and don't show up well. But the Lid, Crease and Liner shades in the Chai Latte quad and the Crease and Liner shades in the Designer Chocolate quads are phenomenal. Very pretty, long lasting shades of gold, brown and a burgundy brown that I actually don't have dupes for in other palettes. I was very impressed with the lasting power on these and for the price, they are great (roughly $4.99 at the drug store.)

Do you have any of these? Tell me in the comments below.